i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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