dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
