I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
