i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
