It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
