The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we're making bets on your personal life
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
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judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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