Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
