I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
They took my balls.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
