I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
