My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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