What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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