need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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