So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
