i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
