:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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