hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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