She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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