i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
