He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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