Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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