so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
