My sheets look like a crime scene.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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