no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
