He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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