His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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