dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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