Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it glows. i had to have it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
being pregnant is like rehab
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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