i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
