I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
