he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
