i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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