It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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