i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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