Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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