I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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