yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
