You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
