Jerry, you need to find god
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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