Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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