the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
