Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
