White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
