Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
