hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
