Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize