Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
