Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
