the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
