Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
