A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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