i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
