the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize