She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
