We're facebook friends in real life
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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