the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
