Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
