This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
