Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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