My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
