It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize