He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
