I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize