it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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